Logan

To start with, the teaser trailer of Logan with its use of Johnny Cash’s “Hurt” is one of the greatest trailers I ever watched.

The song really set the tone of the film and also set as ever, my expectations with my soft spot to comic book adaptations. Although critically panned, I really liked Mark Millar’s vision for Old Man Logan, because who could resist a post-apocalyptic world with now disfunctional superhero lore? These are my favorite two things ever!

Before that Hugh Jackman teased Old Man Logan in Comic-Con 2015:

Yeah, I watched this in 2015.

I was already in the mood for Mad Max in X-Men Universe. (Dear non-nerds, please be reminded that Fox have X-Men, Marvel Studios have everything else, so direct adaptation of Old Man Logan would not be actually possible for another fucking century).

I always, always love dark and gritty imaginations of things. So much more realistic and gritty movie which barely contains superhero motif will never be problem for me. You are going to make Last of Us with claws? You are remaking Mad Max with a really two 100 year old dudes along with a preteen girl as a road liability?

Yup! Logan in its second half decides to turn into Mad Max Fury Road with a sad road trip, as Logan and the gang drives to the Canada to find Eden, a place where X-23 (Laura) kind can live as free mutants. Y’know, that serene and perfect land Furiosa remembers from her childhood. The Green Place. Then the film immediately turns into another Mad Max movie. Beyond Thunderdome. Because little kids and their reluctant crazy protector.

In addition the entire Anti-Trump propaganda shoehorned in Mexica Texas border and uber driver Logan (instead of a horse, yeah this is a western, blink blink. Real MEN mounts on top of bigger things, blink blink.) We do not get any other themes other than being old sucks and being 130+ years old gets boring after everyone you ever met is dead. We know being old sucks. Well, being 30 years old sucks, let alone to be born in 1886.

I can cynically refer to Stephen Spielberg: “We were around when the Western died and there will be a time when the superhero movie goes the way of the Western.” Now comic book films are mimicking Sergio Leone’s nihilistic westerns which most of us has no nostalgia connection and a quick reminder for they are not going to slow down at least until 2030. I even think we are going to get a Hugh Jackman in yellow spandex for the next Deadpool movie despite all the denials. Make people go to the theatre to make them bid their farewells and later make Hugh Jackman to piss it on with a parody while making them happy with the yellow spandex. What a lovely twist!

Logan is simply not one of the greatest comic-book movies of all time in my opinion, despite the overwhelmingly positive buzz. I can accept that it is a forcefully melancholic but a proper send-off for a dude I am watching on screen from the age of 12 but it is not really that much of a masterpiece.

Then again even when vaguely adapting Old Man Logan how can you miss the suspense to not have him snikt for 2/3’s of the movie? The film immediately starts with Logan slicing and dicing people for fuck’s sake.

JUST HOW..

..YOU CAN..

..MISS THIS?

The setting, bleak no-hope apocalyptic attitude and the R-rated grittiness (fights were really awesome though) was deserving something to end on a higher note than on the nose metaphor for his on his prime beast of a youth vs. his old potato current self. Wolverine vs. Wolverine Clone finale could vastly be improved with a mere inclusion of Sabretooth instead of a boring and gimmicky CGI clone. Please stop comparing this to the Dark Knight. Even Max Payne 3 tried to do this old and weary thing in Rio.

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