If you know me in real life, you’re probably bored on how I like to obsess over things. This game, dear reader, is my pinnacle on obsessing over a video game. (As a new IP, so we’re not counting Assassin’s Creed) First, it took forever to download. Then, my computed needed to be x64 so I had to format my computer and reinstall a new Windows. Then, I had to download all sorts of updates and plugins and programs and stuff. After that, I had to update my graphic card again because of the optimization problems. Speaking of optimization, I played Assassin’s Creed IV Black Flag in Ultra graphics and played this in between low and medium with some lags. Yikes.
So, after spending three days trying to get the damn game work, only with huge frame drops in car chases I finally get to play it. I didn’t play GTAV and kinda not like Rockstar because of their refusal to accept PC GAMING AS A MASTER RACE but for a GTA clone, man, I loved Watch_Dogs.
The ironic aspect is I actually don’t like open world games that much. I like my gaming more linear. Most of the open world game’s side quests are gimmicks on poorly trials to extend the life of the game. (I’m looking for you Batman Arkham series with never ending boring Riddler quests..) With the exception of Saints Row IV I always tend to skip quests and focus on main missions. Not this time. Even strolling around to do some senseless stuff is amazing. First of all, if you ever touch a gaming magazine you saw some dude praising how lively a game world looks like and how the city life goes on and on. They never played this game. (D’uh, now they praise this too) I never saw a more alive world in my entire gaming history. People are jogging, sharing a McDonalds meal (Richer dude is eating hamburger and poor dude is stuck with French fries) Golden-painted street artists are standing still until you aim a fucking grande launcher at them, bored dudes playing with their football etc. and you get the hack their bank accounts, hack into their personal lifes and steal from some cancer patient and two-job working poor girlfriend’s all the savings for the medical bills just for the lulz and just be a general dick to everyone. You can blow steam pipes, create a mass blackout to city, change traffic lights just for your amusement and so on. I couldn’t do any main missions in days because of all the side stuff. This game is loaded. There are 100 check-in points all around Chicago so I probably never cared Foursquare in real life to check-in places, as much as I did in this game. There is a serial killer which you can search for, digital drugs trips you can play mini-games like Carmageddon, world destroying or being a stealthy fuck or jump around flowers. Those are small mini games (and I didn’t list them all) and there are larger side quests which include convoy shootings, (There is a specific road which enemies are taking and you get to kill them anyway you like. Bomb them, use environment to kill them or pull out your ye oldé assult rifle and shoot the fuck out of them) gang hideouts (be a stealthy fuck and kill everyone except the dude you want to punish. You can only put him out. When he wakes up with a killer headache, he will be all sad because you murdered all of his friends. Because THAT’S a better punishment than killing a guy, rite? Killing all his co-workers which he probably hated anyway) So in addition to best damn open world game I ever played (subjectivity, fellas) this game is also my favorite be a stealthy fuck game.
I really despise be a stealthy fuck games. I mean what’s the point, in real world if we ever get to be in a shooting we already would be stealthy scared fucks who move by inch an hour. The main purpose of any game involving a pistol is pointing the barrel towards enemy and shooting like there is no tomorrow for my taste. I like my guns blazing. Watch_Dogs, however, is my favorite stealth shooting. Because it fucking makes sense. When you kill dudes with silenced guns, they make little noise so a random lady from two blocks away doesn’t lose her shit and calls the police. You don’t get a fucking silenced assault rifle for the 3/4 of the game so you’re stuck with a pistol you have to make your shots count. You aim for the head and run like fuck if you missed your chance. This makes stealth fun. Also you can hack poor people’s bombs (they can throw them out if they’re fast or more amusingly can’t and yell their friends to tell their wife they loved her. Fun) or communication devices (like a dog flute or something). Tons of things and unlockables. You can hack people’s songs through their iPhones for godssake.
I can’t praise it’s graphics due to horrible optimization problems but I liked all the hacking related stuff. Reading random people’s text messages, listening to their daily talks (usually hilarious) adds great depth I never saw before. The gameplay and story is fun, too. I seriously can’t understand people who somewhat disliked this game. (and on a not totally unrelated note, my mother yells me I’m a fascist when she’s angry with me) Even running away from ever-spawning police is something fun to do in this game.
I completed %76.9 the game as I write this and until Assassin’s Creed Unity, this is my Game of the Year. Deal with it. I felt bad after shooting a dude straight in the face who was at my mercy first time ever.
(Listen Summer Girlfriend’s Lost Boys. From in-game music. It’s amazing)